Dennis Hollingsworth

Ahora

Finally, I have this painting in hand.

I had thought from time to time that it might have been a lost cause.

Par for the course.

I don't think that a painting should necessarily proceed in a glory of vision and control, leaping from mountaintop to mountaintop, gliding the first touch to the last... although I have had the rare fortune to come near this splendid feeling once or twice (...although I can't really remember when and which right now, maybe this is a fabricated memory!).

What is more normal for me is an alternating cycle of percieved success and failure, with the better experiences (in painting) coming from one or more transits through the apparently unsuccessful moments. A rescue by a subsequent turn.

My language might sound technical here. Please bear with me.

The feeling of dread and nausea is not uncommon in my studio. And when the good turn comes, the feeliing of release and relief and acomplishment washes over me. It's incredible. I marvel that perhaps some of the best painting comes from and through the worst.

Perhaps this stems from my emphasis on grace (I'm searching for the words to describe this idea/experience), or the distinction I hold between the good or bad touch of paint to canvas, or the reference I make to alla prima technique (Impressionist roots I think... an association not yet thoroughly researched) where failure (another term needing qualification some day) is simultaneously courted and immediately cut out, edited. Indeed, edits by turns.

Hazards navigated.

***

I left off the blogposts for the past few days in order to apply myself to the work in the studio. Priorities. Even though a couple of days had been cut with social events (the other, I will blog shortly: an outing on Xerlo's new boat). My "life is short" policy is definitely a balancing act, hazardous (that word again) though it is.

How could it be any other way?